A PERFECT LIE

2012-02-12T21:48:00.000-08:00

you nk gy mane mane gy lah..

takkan i nk control you kan, i kan spae..
kalau you nk gy kay..
tapy dgn satu sharat you jage diri baek baek kay..
if anything happens you tex or kol me alrite...
by the way somebody stil have feelings towrds you..

i jumped up and down and laughed when i ger his text.... hahaha!
love you so much al-faris fidaitullah.. <3

2012-02-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

puttin my hopes high up but in the end its just another.. sigh...

well.. thats okayy... guess i was too deeply in love with him... but still i feel blessed to have him in my life...and even get to know him... hahaha..

he is still in my life till now.. but how i wish we are still together... and we could have our 1 year anniversary.. by right its yesterday.. but hopes and wishes didnt come true.. :/

hmmm...

2012-02-08T21:56:00.000-08:00

missing him badly.. this sat gonna go out with athirah and her guy.. harap harap aku tk jady lamp post je ye.. hahaha.. 14th work with abg farzi.. as a delivery girl.. hahahaa.. first time ever.. hahaha!

not much to say here.. just that i miss al-faris fidaitullah bin abden so much...

texting and talk on the phone with him.. makes me miss him even more..mostly i shared almost everything with him.. but sometimes i didnt.. even if i had to make a choice.. i would keep to myself... cause hearin his voice could change my decision... and at times i would regret it...

for now.. im just gonna focus more with work for the mean time.. while waitin for the result to release.. hope that on the 11th i get to meet him even for a short while..

missin him badly... :((

240112

2012-01-24T18:34:00.000-08:00

went out with him yesterday.. but sadly i didnt get to spent the whole day with him.. but yesterday was the happiest day for me...he came and fetch me at my place.. have some talk with my mum as usual.. my mum da lame tk nmpk die.. hahaha... when dad is around i was so damn nervous... die dudok skejap.. tk amekkan air.. told my mum that we wanna go off.. hahaha..

went to e-hub and bought journey 2 the mystery island and guess what.. we bought it at his cousin.. instead of payin $22, she gave us some discounts or somethin.. and we paid for $14...

bought the tickets and we go and play arcade..and first game we played dytona with a lil kid.. hahah! budak kecik nk versus.. abeyh tu maen langgar langgar.. last dpt 3rd.. hahaha..! i came in second and he came in 1st.. jealous much.. but if it comes to motor nyr game.. i always win.. hahah!

2nd game mario cart game.. i lose to him again.. -.-"

3rd game bubble game.. and i won.. hahah! maen game tembak tembak.. both mati.. haha! but he end the game earlier thn me...

then we make our way to the beach.. sit around at the water breaker.. and my mind was totally at peace... its been so long didnt went to the beach.. we sat there and talked and suddenly he told me that he was single all this while..i was shocked... hard to believe.. its been a year and few months... and now he just told me..

dont even know what and how to react.. i just hide my face..

went back to e-hub and came in a bit late for the movie..and we get free popcorn and water.. :))

thanks to syikin for the tickets,water and popcorn..

done watchin the movie.. went to tamp and slacked till 8pm and watched him played soccer for awhile.. and he sent me back home...

but i still wonderin whyy he asked me about our anniversary.. O.o

whatevr it is.. nieshran knows it all ..like he told me himself.. everythin he told nieshran...

lookin forward to meet him for the next outin..

2012-01-17T23:02:00.000-08:00

made some plans with al-faris.. since last week i turned him down for 2 days as i was busy helpin my aunt packin and carry stuff from her place to our house where my big bro live.. so..finally i pick the date and he was okay with it...but not sure of which place to go.. -.-

but so far im lookin forward to meet him.. :))

2012-01-13T04:43:00.000-08:00

now that i had resign my work.. i feel so bored.. and furthermore im sick.. hmmm
i miss the outsideworld.. as in i miss goin out with my peeps...especially with al-faris fidaitullah..
gosh i miss you damn much..

november 14th was the last day that we met.. and its already been 2 months...
i wish we could be more than just a bestfriends...

haish...

26th day

2012-01-09T23:38:00.000-08:00

on the 24th day.. which is on sat.. i didnt go to work..i took off.. and stay at home.. as i cant stand my sickness.. nothing much about that day.. on 25th day.. which is on sunday, went to work and it was the last day for me.. no stock came for that day, was quite bored actually... hahah! help ele to display and mr.tee asked me to clean the shelves.. and later did i know that kakak strawberry bought for me chocolate.. and while i was standin at the counter site helpin neil.. and i get to know that one of the promoter didnt like it.. -.-

but who cares..i cant be bothered.. hahahah!

so ended my shift and sign the form.. and off i go.. hahah!

and today i just dont know what to choose..

i make my own decision.. i choose to go to higher nitec instead of poly..

but i know mum will surely disappointed with me... she wants all her kids to go to poly..

but sometimes its up to us..

what for if we get in to poly and we dont like the course that we take for what..

i mean.. i like in ite atmosphere.. i have my frens there.. but in poly.. you will never know that youre gonna be a victim ..

poly is a great choice.. but its stressing..i see my frens in poly.. they did their work till they wanna gave up..

think i just apply for higher nitec.. i dont care if im gonna get scolded from them.. as long as i get to do what i wanted..

23rd day

2012-01-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

didnt go for work today.. as i cant breathe properly.. text mr.chong askin for off day today..
sorry aunty ielene.. id dint came today... and we cant have our break together..
and thanks to charmaine.. she lend me $2 just so that i could bought my carebear.. hehehe..

i dont know when im gonna get better.. as im still sick.. and tomorrow gonna be my last day..
i thank all of you guys for showin me the way how to work.. and especially arvic.. haha! he is the cutest of all.. and he is the only one who i massaged for.. hahhaha!
hadrian for callin me his apprentice but sadly.. tomorrow is gonna be my last day..
neil quilala.. hahah! i love that name.. hehe.. kampong boy... when i first came there askin for the manager.. he was the one that i approached to.. hahaha.. and thanks to him for teachin me about
cashier..
i had fun there..
the promoters all.. thanks alot for givin me an experience that i never had in my entire life.
its such an awesome opportunity..
if i had given a chance again.. i would like to come back there.. :)

22nd day

2012-01-05T15:53:00.000-08:00

woke up in the morning just to see if he did replied.. and yes.. he replied sayin sorry.. but i just cant seem to forgive.. even though it was his fault.. you make me look like a fool! mcm aku nie shiok sendiri...! i trusted you and the least thing is that i did try!! but hell,did is what i get...??!

urgh! shouldnt have fall for you in the first place if it gonna turn up like this.. youre such an asshole!

my 1st bro has already gone to malaysia for his concert... hope he is okayy...he will be back on sunday.. hmm.. kinnda bored actually.. hahha!

just got home from my uncle house.. :)

thanks to amin for accompany me eat durin my break time and even he waited for me to end work.. thank you.. :))

had fun with him..haha! layan die bleyh jady orang gile.. hahah! esok die da masok camp alek.. hahha! sedih.. hehhee..!

and now i dont even know where is my family is..-.-!

enter house,none of my family members.. hmm..

now i wanna bathe and do some house chores.. :))

and yeah.. i bought already 3 carebears.. 2 keychains and 1 big.. 1 more to go..

21st day

2012-01-05T05:26:00.000-08:00

yesterday which is my 20th day i didnt update as it was my off day.. hahah! so jady malas luh kea.. hahha! so smlm i stayed at hme.. but before that i followed my parents and sunny went to mustafa.. as sunny carik die nyr bag and me and my parents carik chocolate.. hahah!
and smlm nyr pulak which is yesterday.. sunny blanje mkn KFC! didnt expect actually.. hahha!

and today is my 21st day..
late for work.. hahah! mcm maken lame maken tk kesah plak aku..hahah!
so do my work..and then 4 i brek alone again.. back at work at 5.. thn at 6 i go home.. hahah!
and yeah.. today is al-faris birthday..
happy birthday... :)

19th day

2012-01-03T06:31:00.000-08:00

i guess whenever my supervisor is not in im a happy girl.. hahah! but today i just had a bad stomach.. usually i didnt take any breakfast and im okayy., but today i dont know whyy suddenly i had a bad stomach..i asked my staff around if they got any biscuit.. charm and ailyn didnt have.. neil had some bread as mr tee bought it for him.. and mr tee and him asked me to take one.. i told them that i dont want.. finally mr tee take it out from the plastic bag and gave me.. thanks mr tee...

and as usual.. customers can be such a pain in the ass.. this and that dont want.. still wanted the same product that they wanted.. i recommend them some products.. they dont want it.. then what for asked for my help...-.-!

irritating you know.. urgh!

so today break i eat with nai nai... and aunty rose... they seem nice.. hehee... and thanks to nai nai that she treated me... and yeah we 3 talked.. for the first time actually.. heheh!

aunty rose said that imma good girl.. but i didnt show yet my bad attitude... hahah!!

i get to know that i get my pay the end of the month...:((

18th day

2012-01-02T03:41:00.000-08:00

was bored at wrk.. gonna do the same thing for tomorrow till sunday.. and goodbye watsons.. hello home..! hahah! so tady kat keje shereen or what ever the name is.. the pharmacist treat us pizza again.. and i eat the meatballs as it was nice.. thn came along danni said that the meatballs was pork.. i was like what the fuck.. i eat already one piece of it.. and the other piece was on my hand i spit it out and throw it.. and now im kindda think twice about pizza havin a toppin of meatballs..

thanks to kakak strawberry gave me make up remover and eye liner.. shes the awesome of all..

to dearest cute boy...

thank you for playing with my feelings and fuck you!

you made me put high hopes for you and yes fuck you!

thanks for makin me be and look like a fool when i know its not gonna be and would not happen

ad fuck you!

if we meet in graduation day.. i swear i wont be nice to you..!

fuck you cute boy!!

17th day

2012-01-01T08:20:00.000-08:00

today at work so boring.. got nothing to restock.. :(

i walked here and there,serve the customers and help neil at the cashier.. at the same time im learnin it.. hahah! but next week gonna be my last day week already.. and of course im gonna miss them. espicially arvic! hahah! he is the most cutest of all..

after work.. massage his body.. and talked to him like almost everythin.. hahah! check check member da ade mataer.. :(

hahah! kea fake. nak sedih pon uat pe kan.. i dont care actually.. :))

alek with ibu nan aya and makn kat rahimah as abg adi nk mkn..-.-!

i can actually say that i miss my family.. dorg klua aku keje.. :(

and ouh.. tk lame lagy da al-faris nyr birthday.. and i dont know what to get for him.. nak kasi baju.. tk tao mane satu.. haish..

16th day

2011-12-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

before ailyn went home.. she treat uh pizza.. :) thanks aillyn.. :)

end my day with an anger buried in me.. aku da keje kat sane da bagos sia,.. bodoh nyr manager nan supervisor mate merah nan aku... thanks to loreal promoter for tellin me.. kalo tk suke bleyh bobal depan depan.. biar aku maki hamon kao skali.. -.-!

stupid sia this kind of people.. pernah dgr aku mintak promoter barang..?! tk kan?! dorg yang bagy... aku tak mati mati kate tak nak.. dorg yang suroh amek..abeyh slh aku?! idiot sia..

beyh da gytu bilang kat promoter tu aku nie lawa sngt pe smpi nk bagy barang..dorg nk bagy dorg peyh asal uhh.. asl kao jealous tk dpt??! get a life luhh..

goodbye 2011!

just hope that im not gonna have a miserable life... and i wish that he was with me right now.. :(

15th day

2011-12-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

day by day.. im gettin bored at work.. -.-!

dont asked me why.. im just bored.. hahah! but when the manager is there or not.. i turned the workplace into my playground.. hahah! and nari mlm dorg gy minom! kalo tak da ikot..but im not gonna drink!! satu hari nie bleyh kate kan aku shoppin kat keje.. mane dgn ibu suroh belik obat nan aku nk belik carebear.. haah! and too bad i didnt get to buy carebear for ira.. hahah! and satu hari nie aku gy keje tk bawak ezlink., da jln gy umah abg adi,. thn cukop time jalan gy busstop bus da nk dtg.. aku aru ingat aku tk de ezlink.. so i asked this lady.. and shes kind enuf to spare me 50 cent..but pity niel.. he take stocks from katong 2 times and he rest for awhile and work again..so i decided to help him.. and lagy pon kite due same shift.. so i like to help him.. and i like to do some stocks.. as it will kill the time.. :))

yeah i miss kak qis.. just hope that shes doin fine.. and lagy pon cha alek keje.. update blog,tngk fb thn tido.. no time already.. sorry kakak kalo adek tk de time untok kakak.. :(

i feel bad here.. :((

kan best kalo umah kakak kat sblh je.. hahah! bleyh come over to each other house and sleep over.. hahah! i miss you kakak and i love you.. :)

14th day

2011-12-29T06:42:00.000-08:00

uat stock sampai sempot dtg.. -.- abeyh da gytu tk pe.. paiseyh seyh.. depan manager nan supervisor..tolak troley same nan manger and sampai nk terjatoh.. alasan: mabok.. hahah!

and i went break at 6 with lydiana.. and bump into dewi (supervisor) and hanisah..

chat with lydiana and accompany her find some school bag.. and she accompanied me work.. for a while..and off she went home.. well.. i must say that.. im lucky to get at parkway parade... as all the staff are friendly except for dewi.. muke die asek cranky.. bile da sot.. die suke uat kekek.. hahah!

ouh! i get to know that mr chiong kinda STM (short term memory) hahah!

he told me before school start 3 days befre inform him again.. but thn just now.. he asked me again.. and he said that this sat im gonna quit.. i think what should i answer... but.. somehow.. the work is tirin.. yea.. i know.. all work are.. but its fun though.. :)

13th day

2011-12-28T06:42:00.000-08:00

just got home from work.. i strt from mornin till night.. the store is totally full of crowd.. i helped to assist them.. and i stand at the entrance to give out the brochure and the carrier bag... was damn tired actually today.. today was ben's last day too.. but he didnt came and today we had 2 breaks.. as awe work full shifts.. the first break we had nasi ayam and the second break is KFC! hahah! thanks to mr cheong.. !!

and this is for you,cuteboy..

12th day (OFF)

2011-12-26T22:55:00.000-08:00

ever since i started workin.. i keep on updating my blog and my tumblr is dead... hahah!

so today i took off..as im gonna accompany my twin to school..so meet her and reandy at my place and off we go to school..da sampai skolah.. carik cikgu... tkde.. thn hang around kat skola.. cukop time alek.. i went to my old block and take some letters.. and i go home and now here i am updatin.. haha!

hmm.. pagy pagy.. da dengar suare die..just like he always does... never fail to make me smile..

even im udatin and im smilin to myself.. haha!

i miss al-faris fidaitullah.. and im still waitin for him.. patiently.. :)

11th day

2011-12-26T07:05:00.000-08:00

today is so damn sucks! dont mind about the customers but the staff.. melayu mcm siak! bobal nan die.. bleyh buat pekak..! -.-!

so break nan ben and his fren,kawan die blanje mkn.. and lepas tu jln jln nan ben..

tngh keje and al-faris kol

so overall.. aku nari tkde mood sngt...

my day is ruin!

10th day

2011-12-25T04:12:00.001-08:00

supposed tomorrow should be my last day of work.. but thn mr.chiong hold me back.. so looks like ive gotta work till school gonna start.. -.-!

kat keje ade budak baru.. but die keje for 1 week je.. boring! since die ade. biar die uat keje.. hahha1 aku gy jln jln,bobal nan budak gift wrapper... break gy mkn nan hanisah and i bumped into reandy!!! maken lame maken hot pe die! cair cha... hahah!! da habis keje.. lepak kat keje and print some pics.. and now i just reach home..gonna eat soon..

tues meet hudah and reandy.. :)

9th day

2011-12-24T06:32:00.000-08:00

smpi keje.. tk smpi 1 jam da kene gy station kat gift wrap.. tgu pyeh tgu tk de customers.. ape lagy.. nyanyi nan gendang kat meja.. and finally ade jugak 1 customer dtg.. hahha! after awhile.. ramai customers dtg.. and im the only one.. skali lydiana dtg.. i asked her for help.. org tngh uat keje abg adi nan joe plak happens to be there and they saw me.. haha! bile que da pendek..i can managed uhh at least.. kalo tk..panic mode teros on.. beyh da gytu wrap pon smbrngan seyhh.. hahha! shift ends at 6:30 pm.. bukan nk alek teros.. tlg budak budak gift wrap kat depan.. hahha! okayy luhh dorg.. bobal nan dorg sume.., hahha! bobal bobal.. cukop time gerak gy umah ato and todays break my manager belanje sape yang keje morning shift.. and xmas i cant belive that i had to work.. and next week tues im off meet hudah and off to ite simei apply for higher nitec... and wednesday plak full shift.. -.-!

members preview ape entah.. walao...!

and i spoke to my manager and he dont let me resign.. he hold me back first.. he said before school gonna start told him 3 days before...i just okayy go je.. hahah! :P

8th day

2011-12-23T04:31:00.000-08:00

mornin shift and i was about to do my work and suddenly fred told me to be stationed at the gift wrapper as the 2 boys havent reached yet.. so i was there till 2pm.. and 3pm i went for break til 4 pm.. and i end work at 6:30 pm. went home and alight at my uncle house.. as he came to my house and i wasnt there..so meet him and chat.. and now i just got home... hahah!

sufyan and saiful are here as i heard that esok dorg nk gy USS! ibu suroh amek mc.. -.-

but see how it goes..

seems like cuteboy has found someone.. thanks for all this time tengku muhd iskandar..

7th day - off day!

2011-12-22T01:26:00.000-08:00

today is my OFF day.. hahah! but kindda bored.. made some plans but theres just things on a way.. so one whole day sit and rot at home.. was thinkin of goin to my uncle house as he got somethin for me.. but thn.. hais.. well thats one thing.. the other thing is that im not that happy with my results.. thought of gettin some high gpa.. but.. i dropped.. from GPA 2.8,2,2.4 and now 2.6... thn if wanna go to higher nitec GPA must reached 2.5..

helped checked for al-faris and get to know tht his GPA.. he asked me with that kind of GPA isit possible to for higher nitec..and i dont even know.. as i was confused...

sad much.. :(

6th day

2011-12-21T08:07:00.000-08:00

nari keje mcm biase.. and when the i was instructed to do front facing for all the products, theres this customer mcm selenge.. da belik brang dary kedai abeyh da klua.. masok alek.. -.-

da gytu tk psl.. da uat kat satu nyr section die langar da sume barang jatoh.. ape lagy kene start alek keje.. -.-!

while tngh keje ade luh 3 badot pompan.. gift wrappers nyr kawan.. seyhbok je.. kasi keje tk habis ade luhh... hahhahaa.. so while i was doin fron facin all the products,lydiana came and tallked to me.. haha.. and we talked about them.. hahah!

so tomorrow is my OFF day! hahah! but too bad.. today is al-faris off day and we dont get to see each other.. sad much... hmmm...

5th day

2011-12-20T07:32:00.000-08:00

jeany smpi singapore and gy umah abg adi.. so i went there just to see her.. but shes not in, cukop time gy keje.. smpi keje on time plak tu .. hahah! went for break at 6pm with lydiana.. and thurs is her last day.. but so sad it turns out to be my off day.. haha! but tk tao plak nk off ke tk.. heheh!

went back home with her and harvin... and tomorrow his off and i have to help him top up the stock at division A... hmm...

to cuteboy..

i see your profile and sometimes i just wanna break down.. miss you but we dont even meet,text or call each other.. hais... or maybe im just a passerby to you... :(

4th day

2011-12-19T09:11:00.000-08:00

before went to work,done some house chores thn bathe and prepare for work.. while preparin for my stuff my aunt asked me out for lunch.. eat and off to work..she dropped me at my place and she went home.. i was so early for work..so i decided to eat some kuih thn off to work..

work work work.. till got nothing else to top up the stock.. tour myself around the store.. and find something to do..went for break and cntinue doin my work...was fun talkin to the staff there.. they make me laugh till i forget what i was searchin for in the store room... hahaha

work till closin.. and went back home with lydiana.. talkin about her.. shes a very nice girl.. cute though.. while helpin her with her work that i was assigned to.. we laughed,sing and talk lots of stuff and thursday is her last day.. gonna miss her.. as she was the 1st person that i spoken to and thanks to her for makin me feel welcome..

3rd day

2011-12-18T06:55:00.000-08:00

cant really wake up in the morning even though im in the afternoon shift and as usual mum nags and dad scold me.. -.-! cant bother actually.. hahaha..

so went to work not by bus but by taxi... as im late and i forget my specs..

so work till closin time and yeah., i just got home..

not that hungry.. just want to sleep.. hahaha! tomorrow also afternoon shift.. hmm..

stockin here and there.. customers askin for this and that.. kat depan mate pon tk nmpk.. -.-

bought fedec for dad.. hope he gonna pay me back as i got no more money left...

k luhh.. wanna washed up and sleep i guess,. not gonna eat..

day 2

2011-12-17T04:18:00.000-08:00

2nd day of workin.. well,today its okayy.. i can get used to it.. but thn lydiana was not there.. so im the only one that helps other stuff with stockin the products and i love doin it! hahah! kills my time .. :) what happens today is that im busy stockin other products.. when my parents came i didnt even know as i was so busy.. haish... so i went for my break at 3:30 instead at 3... break pon 20 min je nari... as i wasnt that hungry..

tomorrow i start at 2pm till closin time.. wah! sian leii! with those shoes that my parents bought it yesterday... just kill my leg! damn hurts! and im so pissed off with my working days.. 6 days of workin and i get 1 day off.. -.-!

see that guy in the pic.. well.. ive been missin him bt i understand that he is busy with his work.. we've not contact each other for so long.. how i wish i get to meet you,talk to you on the phone till late night.. miss hearing your voice,laughter and the way you tease me..

i miss bein with you.. :(

1st day of work

2011-12-16T06:22:00.000-08:00

1st day of work was wonderful thanks to lydiana for the shop tour.. hahah!

well... i had fun even though its tiring but still i gotta work..

one whole day i walk up and down the store.. assist some customers.. but most of the workers there are friendly and most of it are philiphines.. plus the promoters there help me too on my 1st day .. :)

after work went to tampines... with wak...and i try to find my shoe for work.. but didnt managed to get 1.. actually theres this pair of shoe but somehow like nyonya nyonya... nyhahahhaa..

and thanks to kakaa qis for updating my blog...hahah! :P

so i did called my dad and i reach home and waited for my dad to come home.. aya da alek, aku tnye jady gy mustaffa ke tak.. die kate tak.. sot sia aku.. aku ade sia tuggu die alek... haish...

kaki aku pki tu kasot smpi blister... saket sia... beyh nk gerak sane snie.. haish... kalo tak jady tu bilang luhh.. aku tk pki tu duit.. nie tak.. kate aku tk bilang.. -.-!

SOT SIA! ESOK KEJE PKI TU KASOT LAGY! SIAL LUHH! BEYH ESOK SORG LAGY! LYDIANA TK KEJE!! HAISH!! BINGET UHH!

"Sometimes silence is better than saying anything"

2011-12-15T05:52:00.001-08:00

posted from Bloggeroid

Mengusir Sepi

2011-12-14T02:43:00.001-08:00

Mencintai seseorang itu tinggi nilainya,

Kita mahukan dia sentiasa bahagia,

Selamat lahir batinnya dan berjaya dalam hidupnya,

Mencintai seseorang tidak bermaksud kita memilikinya,

Cinta tanpa kepentingan tetapi penuh dengan pengorbanan,

Itu lah kebahagiaan sebenar bagi orang yang benar benar mencintai seseorang...

Antologi Cerpen, Hakikat Cinta.

Sorry :(

2011-12-07T10:49:00.001-08:00

Dear cuteboy,

Wish I could tell you what I felt right now...but.. Im sorry for whatever I did to you and to what im about to say now..

Im sorry if I walk away from you as you know that I did try to let my feelings stay but somehow it just fade away... All those times that I had with you,wish I could have it again but things diffrent now.. You already had a job and its really kindda hard to meet you.. But thats okayy I understand... Remember that time you told me that youre hurtin me and I still can bare with it.. Welk thats cause im into you.. All this time you made me feel live im alive and I had so much fun till at certain point I tend to forget about you.. But atleast I try to make us talk to each other and let the the feelings stay...

Its not easy to build my feelings for you and you know that.. But thn now.. I dont know wht happen till it fades.. Well.. Not entirely fade..youve been busy with homestuff,work and what so ever... I re read all those msgs and I miss that.. Mostly is you...

I know ive been such an ass or whatever you wanna called it.. But at times I cant help me to think about you as I seldom meet you.. Skrg da tk skolah,is busy keje..ape lagy kalo is da gy johor..i would always spin the bracelet around my wrist... Im sorry for everything tengku muhd iskandar...:'(

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2011-12-04T22:23:00.000-08:00

had a great time yesterday with twin.. hahha.. its a random outing actually.. hehe.. watched twilight:breaking dawn.. grab the tix and off we went for window shoppin.. not really shoppin.. the pic above is her bilated bithday gift from me..and the movies is so awesome till some part of it i did cry.. haha.. walked to h&m, cineleisure and last we settle down at swensen,, chit chat with her..then off to ion search for some shoes and slipper as mine is gonna be torn apart.. but didnt get to buy one cause im short of money.. hmm..

the guy that make me smile :)

2011-11-28T21:54:00.000-08:00

dearest cuteboy..
Sometimes i'll be thinking, why you chose me ? I am never the type of girl you wanted. I am not at all like all those sporty girls out there. Not as pretty like all the girls you've been with or contacted with.. But why do you still want me ?
sorry about some of the posts and what ive been sayin about you in my blog..

just hope that i could meet you this sat.. :)
but if you cant make it,, its alright..
sorry cutebooy.. :)

2011-11-28T00:14:00.000-08:00

somehow i just miss you damn much and how we used to be.. but i understand that youre busy..

i just wanna get rid of this dumb feelings away.. :')

2011-11-27T09:59:00.001-08:00

hari tu kao mendak tk bley tido kao kol aku.. beyh tu bobal half way.. aku tutop aku pyeh buku stakat nak lyankan kao pyeh pasal... kao kacao kawan kao.. kan puas hati kao letak telifon. gy kacao kawan kao ... beyh bile da 1 jam tk bobal hp mati, kao fikir aku marah.. to me its just so stupid...

you cant get some sleep and you called but you didnt talked and expect me to wait for you while youre happily disturbin your fren... what for if you called but not to talk.. wasnt that stupid..?!

tryin not let my feelings fade twrds you.. but ..i seriously dont know whats gonna happen next..

just dont blame me if one day i start to walk away from you..

i did my best not to let it fade.. but...

remember i did make a confession when youre drunk or not..

i do like you and some how i did told you that its not easy build up my feelings for you..

know that youre busy with stuff all that.. and soon we are gonna sit for our exam..

tryin not to think all the negative thoughts but its just keep comin back..

i didnt say it all this to you cause i dont wanna hurt you in some other wayy..

i do care about your feelings.. and even if i slacked with my ex, i tell you even you dont asked for it..

cause if i dont,, i just feel guilty.. and the it does kills me..

i know you still and does love me. but i dont know if its still there..

cause i just dont see it that way anymore... and dont even feel it..

was it just me or you?

sometimes i do stalked youre profile just to know whre were you and those kind of stuff..

but i cant help it if this shitty feelings keep on comin back and makin me feel so jealous..

i know you have youre female frens and i do have male frens too..

urgh.! whatever it is... i dont wanna know and whyy do bother about it so much i dont even know..

hate that i love you so cuteboy..

2011-11-21T06:07:00.001-08:00

to my dearest cuteboy,

as day by day.. i dont know whyy i have this dumb feelings to be jealous whenver youre with youre female friends, be it comments with each other or whatver it is that you wanna call it..

seriously i dont know whyy i have this feelings.. just to let you know..

it wasnt easy for me to build up my feelings for you,, if youre gonna play with it.. im just gonna cast away.. leave everythin and start a new chapter again.. its really not easy..

im sorry if im not the way as before... but its just sucks you know..

friends keep on sayin that youre lookin and askin me.. all i could do is smile.. and yes, im doin it everyday.. i do love you, but....

love you cuteboy.. :')

2011-11-14T04:49:00.000-08:00

had a great time slackin with al-faris fidaitullah.. finally get to meet him and share things with him.. :)

cukop time gerak and its rainin.. what to do.. kne alek jugakkan.. so aku balek luhh nan die...

and slalunyr aku naek motor aku tkkn pelok org.. even though if its my cousin or my own brother and today... i hug him.. tk pernah pernah pelok org naek motor.. -.-

lagy lagy tngh hujan mcm nie.. fuh! its damn awesome ride.. hahaha... nan aku pakai skirt lagy.. hahaha!

do meet again aite bestfren :)

and thanks for the awesome ride.. do it again someday.. hehehe.. !

2011-11-12T22:19:00.000-08:00

yesterday was great! haha! spent some time with cute boy.. wait for kahiri and thn off to go to his grandmother house.. it feels great to have family gatherin while mine.. haha.. worst..! talk with khairi and some of his relatives..arnd 8 plus followed them go play bunga api at chua chu kang park there and thn i went home.. kindda tired travel to west side and back to east side.. haha..!should spend sometime go west again.. hahah!

btw cute boy.. thanks for the food even though its not that nice, but i appreciate it..

and the noodles look so cute.. hehehe..

2011-11-07T01:49:00.001-08:00

got lotsa things in my mind and happen to me, i just dont know what and how to let it out..ever since i was a young kid i keep it to myself and i only burst it at someone who is innocent thats got nothin to do with it..parents,schools and life.. lets just move on to other topic,.. dont even know whyy i said it here..

well.. i just miss my cute boy and hope that this sat i get to meet him.. but somehow i miss al-faris fidaitullah... ive been tryinna make sometime as he told me someday he wanna hang out with me.. so i make some time just for him.. but thn again.. he is not free.. but theres always some backed up plan.. hahha.. always have my girls to hang out with..

but actually this sat, i just wanna hang out with him.. but if he cant make it.. then its alright..

i just meet my cute boy...

2011-10-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

<--- cant seem to find his cute pics but somehow i found this,, lol! btw see this cute boy on the left,, yesterday was his birthday and i was the first one to wish him.. he gets my text and he called me up to tell me that i was the first one to wished him and he thank me for that... but sorry cute boy, i didnt get you anythin for your birthday.. :/

p/s: dont stress yourself and stay cute like you always do aite.. :)

so thats all about him..

right,, i bump into him today.. we talked for few mins and he got to go.. he seems to be happy..

but in the inside. haha..no one knows it.. :)

school ends and i saw him motor near to "smokin zone"... texted him but he didnt reply..

took quite awhile for him to replied my msgs...

so we texted each other and suddenly he told me that he got no mood.. hmm..

wonder whats botherin him...

but still he is my one and only bestfriend ever..even we seem to not closed to each other.. but somehow we are.. :))

he is still my bestfriend,just like how he wants to be called.. :)

25102011

2011-10-26T04:27:00.000-07:00

yesterday, go for mornin class thn go home.. hahah! i didnt go for afternoon class.. go home do my chores, thn off i go to clem meet hudah... meet dy and in at dover, then off we got for our chalet.. reach there rain for a short while.. start the fire(mcm beyloh, budak cine tk tao uat api!)

have some fun with my usuals and at the same time with W class.. go in and out from the room, iskandar wanna talked to me.. so sit there with him and talked about him and me..

well, we kindda like each other and perhaps into each other too.. hahah!

but somehow we had some sort of conflict.. but whatever it is.. i just let it go,..

2011-10-19T06:58:00.000-07:00

i miss this guy.. how uhh?

well, its been so long we didnt meet each other.. he's been busy with his new life..

and i bump into him during lunch time.. :)

kindda make me smile.. but somehow.. i miss the way we are..

wait for him patiently..haish..

2011-10-17T07:08:00.000-07:00

hais.. another wrong doings towrds you eye...

i know you dont like me to smoke.. but i smoke one in awhile..

so please.. youre my best fren act like one..

firstly i had lose you as my guy and that is way too much painful and hurtful..

and now that we are frens.. let us just stick to it..

i dont wanna lose you..

and im sorry.. i shouldnt have done that..

haish...

mesti ade yang tk kne depan mate kao kan al-faris?

i know im that goody goody good girl..everyone has their own bads and goods..

so please.. if youre my best fren.. please act like one...

dont act like as if youre my guy...

and im sorry...

14 oct!

2011-10-14T06:19:00.000-07:00

today is my 3rd bro birthday... hahaa!!! da tue die.. hahaha!

every time when the year is comin to an end, its always my birthday next... hahaha

time passed by so fast...

and by the way abg wan.. happy 20th birthday to you...semoga panjang umor dan murah rezeki..:)

btw,, i get my 2nd warnin letter for my SNW... -.-"

haish..

gotta buck up and attend all lessons... no more comin late...

2011-10-11T05:38:00.000-07:00

dream of you today... that we get back together.. but its only just a dream...

thats all i could do.. whenevr i miss you i would dream of you... funny right..

usually i would tell you what my dream is about..but this time i wont.. just gonna keep it to myself..

didnt came to school today as i choose not to.. hahha.. but somehow i missed my school work..

sit and rot at home makes my brain stop and i cant think of anythin..well... not much happen today..

i sleep, eat and rot...thats all i do.., hahha...

2011-10-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

down with fever...wish he's here with me...but too bad he's busy with his new life.. :\

well,today i wanna go out but not sure where to and with who...maybe meetin iskandar..maybe only..hmm... wanna go out.. ira is busy with kak apple preparation.. if stay at home.. nothin better to do... so bored...

followed mum and dad to amber and thn off to mustafa... so boring..

tngh demam mcm nie aku tk larat nk gy tempat mcm tu...bought some stuff from there till its rained heavily and i really cant take it with my fever... never had this kind of fever.. usually it would cool down... sleep for few hours till i cant even breathe properly..,

i need to go to hospital for some naps.. told my dad but he didnt do anythin... pathetic..

kalo part abg adi.. die pegi.. part aku.. buat bodoh.. -.-"

to you al-f :

im tryinna let you know,apart of me just cant let it go,never had a guy,

one who understands with you it felt so free,

i dont know what you did,but i know whatever it is, im so grateful for you and

i hate that i cant find someone who's worth my time just like my best friend.. :')

2011-10-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

yesterday you told me tht youre gonna have a girl soon and my heart sinks..

cant believe it and not a second that i thought you would find a replacement soon..

i cried when youre givin me a ride home..i reach home i broke down,at night i cried till my pillow is full with tears,and today i woke up i cried again,go schl and reach schl i cried...keep on cryin till my frens told me to stop and they tried to cheer me up...well, i try to put a smile and laugh with them but at the same time i feel sad..its just that i dont expect that he would say that..

true what nieshran says, we gotta expect the unexpected..

so here i am..standin at the edge and still standin strong to swallow all this kinds of feelings that i had for you..

and when told you that i miss you.. and all you could say is okayy..

i want you back..cant put my hopes up high as im scared that i would fall back to the ground and hit me hard,

still be waitin for you..

2011-09-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

you called with just a short convo.. pathetic much.. but at least you called..

to tell you the truth i was surprised..cause after so many days you didnt call me... and today you just called me up...

its sure nice to hear your voice,but im missing you dearly..

just hope see you.. :)

2011-09-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

see this pic above? saw the shirt? the shirt that i worn in this pic belongs to him and i still have it with me.. and this pic was taken right after im done cryin, lame i know.. but see.. i still smile even it hurts deep inside.. i smile cause i dont wanna show how deep the wound is..

i still smile and laugh with others as i dont want them to worry about me, so i choose to do this..

smile and act like it doesnt bothers me, but when i know the true it does.. had no other choices but to put my head held high and put a smile on my face...

the one who never fails to make my day,

the one who never fails to make me smile,

the one who never fails to disturb me..

simple to say.. i miss you..

but i know you dont..

2011-09-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

hi.. so yeah... today plans is so tk menjady goin out with dino as he is tired... hmm...

disappointed but yeah,,still smiling as i got this girl here to make me laugh again.. haha

last minute meet up,.pity her hafta wait for me long..but not that long right ia? hahah!

so we eat at kfc.. treat her movie and everythin for today is on me.. ahha.. thanks for meetin me up even though its a last minute thingy.. and i really had fun with ya.. hehehe.. should do this more often.. hahaa.. keep on disturbin people along the way.. hahah!

so urm..maybe next outin is gonna be at the same place but this time we olan to do somethin which is gonna be fun.. haha! i guess.. strt to make our way to inte around 9 plus and waited for but 21 and we chat all the way till we missed our stop and we need to walk to my old place and i sent her till busstop and im off make my way home..

2011-09-26T23:31:00.000-07:00

musibot!!! kalo kao fikir kao penat nie sume still can get back to me ... nie tk sia.. aku ade tunggu kao pyeh msg nan kol mcm budak bodoh! kao yang ajak aku klua beyh nie mcm..

sial uhh..! kao still bleyh blang pe not today...dont jolly well say uhh tuesday.. if you think you cant make it..

kiwak! binget siak! nasib aku tk siap dulu sia!

im bored and i talk nonsence

2011-09-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

heyy.. im bored and dont know what to do.. so i guess ill be bloggin... didnt go to school for the phone event thingy as i woke up late..hahha..bathe and off i follow daddy..

so urm... see this guy here.. he is my everything..

he is my budak gemok aka dino..hehee..

well..i still love this guy and im still waitin for him.. but for now we are just friends..

hmm..happy for him as he already passed him tp and now he already get his bike..hahha.

am excited as next week i get to see him.. hahha.. not just cause he got a bike..-.-

his smile and laughter would always light up my day.. :)

see the girl there..she is my twin..who always loves to rogol me in class...hahha...her name is hudah aka hudah gile.. but dont mess with her as she knows how to make you upset..hahah..but to me she is a sweet and nice girl,even we only know each other for few months..she is the one that i can look up to... :)

kea people.. please please ignore the background... hahaha..this is mok..the girl who i always bully! hahah! she's funny and she is my teddy bear.. hahah.. she went thru with me all my ups and down and even she helped me alot.. haha.. and this pic is so last year!! hahah! and not to forget my phone!! hahah!! very the legend you know..! hahah..

this is reandy..the guy who make others happy even though he had a hard time..he will still make others laugh with his silly jokes..and ouuhh..not to forget he gave me adviced and lend his ear whenvr i need one.. and this is the very first pic that i took with him when we went to vivo with hudah but too sad,,in cant make it.. hmm.. but thats okayy..

see that pak cik there.. ouhh.. no..not pak cik.. celebrity for the day.. hahha

this guy here is damn funny and awsome.. whenever im mad or not in the mood... with his silliness.. i gain back everything.. hahah..just with his silliness and im back to myself..

this is also my gemok!hahah!! weve know each other for 5 years and alhamdullilah.. till now we still frens.. so abt this girl..hmm..nthng much uhh.. hahha! siak je cha.. well..easy said.. we've been thru all our ups and downs together and i dont know whats gonna hppen to me if we went our ways.. hahahaa.. dont really knw what to say as she knws me well.. or should i say too well.. hahah!!

all i wanna say is that.. even if i dont have a guy to be with me,i still have my awesome frens who is there for me whenever and wherever i need..

they are the who make me gain back all my smiles and laughters,,without them i think im still in the dark side of me...hahahahaa...

i appreciate everyone of you guys and therefore..i hope even when we graduate,, we still could meet each other and spent time again.. :)

2011-09-21T01:41:00.000-07:00

meet my laugin gas...

his name is iskandar, funny guy and always burst me into laughters.. same course but we didnt really talk to each other as we are not in the same class.. :)

so went out with my classmates and coursemates on the 18th sep.. have fun with them especially when it comes to nana! haha..

iskandar disturbs her thru out the day..hahah

and the next day which is on monday its my dads birthday and i went out with my ite mates.. sorry daddy i didnt get you anythin.. i know im just a girl who still learnin and grow up.. but overall youre the greatest daddy ive had.. love ya dad!

2011-09-09T02:59:00.000-07:00

morning went school early just cause of nana.. told me not to be late as later she wont have any accompany in class.. so yeah.. i went school and reached early just for her and end up i was the one who got no accompany... waited for her in class and she came in with heidi.. wow! i was fucked up with her and i didnt talked to her that much.. perangai budak kecik.. i know.. hahaha... so yeah.. waited for my twin to came and totally made my day.. hahaha.. ate lunch with them and went back home with dino.. :) hhahaa... happy siol aku.. hahhaa..

took 38 to tamp inter, he accompanied me to my old house just to take some letters and than we slacked till 3.. hahahhaa.. had fun with him.. and its not everyday like today that i get to be with him..

as long as youre by my side,, im happy with it..:)

01092011

2011-09-01T07:14:00.001-07:00

nari gy skolah stakat jumpe reandy nan in nak gy mkn kat KFC...meet reandy and off take attendance for snw..then mr ithnin dismissed us around 9+..while waitin for salihin to come, he texted me ..kate nk alek nan die.. but i didnt say that its gonna be today as it should have been yesterday and so he make it up today.. and i didnt followed reandy and in to meet hudah.. sorry guys.. there will always be another day for us to eat together..:)

so i wait for Al-faris fidaitullah and while we were walkin towards busstop, we were talkin and i dont know what came over me till i can be like how i used to be when he is around me.. hmm.. so yeah.. waited for the bus and in the bus we planned..first thing i asked him can accompany me eat at mac.,. he's not sure of it as he got a bad stomach, which is the same for me.. and last he planned to watch movie.. and we watched FINAL DESTINATION 5! haha.. so damn yucky! hahaha!

but overrall at least i get to meet him and went out.. its been weeks! hahah!

next stop its gonna be ABDUCTION! hahah!

and to you al-faris...

thanks for accompany me and i really do miss you..but i cant do anythin about it..

wish i could have you back.. still gonna wait patiently and not gonna find others..

2011-08-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

Ku masih lagi teringat

Bicaramu yang terakhir

Pedihnya hinggamenikam kalbu

Bisanya...

Selamat tinggal sayangku

Selamat tinggal kasihku

Aku terpaksa pergi dahulu

Kerana terluka hati ini

Kiranya tempias membasahai jendelamu

Itulah airmata yang jatuh di pipiku

Kiranya sang bayu menyentuhi paras wajahmu

Oh itulah rinduku yang menyebut namamu

Setelah sekian lama tak jumpa

you have always been in my mind.. haish.. tryinna get rid of you in my mind and thoughts.. but.. haish..

well.. i cant do anything bout it.. now we are APART..missing you is the hardest part for me.. cause its killin me..

tak lame lagy da raya.... and its gonna be the 2nd time for me.. raya without you... :'(

im still tryinna move on and its hard for me to shake things off.. even the way i talk to people is so damn rude..

includin you.. i let you hurt me all this time cause i love you,,but now.. im totally sorry for hurtin you with the way i act and the way i talked to you.. my phone is so silent without your msgs and your calls..

wish i could turn the time and undo all those things.. but its too late.. gotta accept the fact that youre over me.. while im still tryinna find the way out..

aya masih tk habis habis bobal pasal kao.. kate on the 20th of sept luh kao datang nk minang luhh..and thn now my unlce knws it.. haish.. sedih je bile dorg bobal psl kao.. i miss you.. :')

20092011

2011-08-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

20092011- the date that im gonna remember that i made you cry! hahahah!

how bad can i be.. so.. meet him at tamp and like as always, late! so yeah.. sit at small mac and play game in my phone while waitin for this gemok to come.. reach and we go near block fakir thre lepak till 10+ and he sent me back home.. he keep on askin me nk hug tak? i said i dont want.. suroh dok dekat nan die.. hahah.. i sit still at my plce till come to one part as he holds my phone.. terpakse luhh dok sblh die kan.. nk elakkan die nmpk muke beyloh aku.. hahha..thn he he turn his head and gave a forehead kiss.. hmm...

jalan alek, die tnye lagy.. nk hug tak.. and i still said that i dont want.. and then he turn to me and hug me.. i was like.. org da hug,, tkkn tk nk hug alekkan..nnti org fikir aku nie tk de perasaan nyr org.. so yeah.. hug him back.. and he was the one who cried... told you al-faris.. no matter how much i miss you.. i wont tell you or show it to you.. just how many girls did you cry for? im being heartless now.. what you wanna do, go ahead.. i dont care.. but im still hurt.. and what ever i do, its not gonna bothers you.. you told her that me and you are bestfrens,, so..? al-faris..al-faris.. bile kao da attach nan die.. aku takkan ganggu hidop kao and aku tak nak kacao orang yang da ade relationship... you said to me that im change, well now you saw that im change just like how you did to me during our 8 months, when im still tryinna put things back in to shape..

terima kasih pasal ajak aku kua.. and this time., aku pyeh orang is okayy go.. follow the flow...

2011-08-17T04:31:00.000-07:00

why do i keep on missin you? why do i keep on thinkin of you? when i know its gonna hurt me..

everywhere i go,who i am with.. my mind keeps wonderin off.. guess i just love you too much..

this 20, im not sure if i wanna go out..you used to be my everything... but now, i dont think so..

all this while, i cry till i fall asleep,, and now.. no more of your texts and calls..

part of me is startin to fall into pieces and hurt even more.. what am i gonna do when when the best part of is you? i chose you over him cause i know who i wanna be with and its you.. but now..

hati ku kini di lukai dengan kata kata mu yang sering ku dengari

tetapi apa yang ku dapat hanyalah satu permainan dari mu

kini aku hanyalah kenangan untuk mu dan tidak akan datang kemabali

jiwang pe nisah... hahaha... but that all i could say.. if you really want me.. i would stay,, if not i would walk away from you before you could walk away from me.. :'(

2011-08-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

al-faris fidaitullah.. you do know that ive been waitin for you all this while but i didnt expect what you told me yesterday.. if it was about other things i can handle and face it.. but if it is about you.. i dont think i can handle it and face the pain.. what more of leavin you and or losing you.??

just how much more am i gonna take with all this hurt? im hurt in the inside yet im still smilin even though im out with you..just how much more can a girl take with all those heartbreakin part.. when the gu she loves most and hopin to be back with, while she moves on slowly waitin for him, everyday she wokes up and have you in her mind, without fail she text you even her p8 low, still she text and called you.. i know it hurts and i knew you felt it before me.. so now it likes you want me to feel like how felt now??is that it?? is that what youre tryin to tell me??

i will wait for you , yes, but now when you told me that.. you told me that youre gonna enjoy your SINGLE LIFE and not gonna be attach with other girl... and now dont you think that all your words are turnin back??dont you even mean it?? i hold on to your words but after hearin it.. my heart sinks.. and i really can think of anything..

like as if youre gonna find me after your ns!! im willing to go thru allt hose shits and wait for when you didnt even asked for .. and when you asekd me.. am i gonna leave you?? doesnt it sounds wrong.. doesnt it like youre the one whos is gonna leave me and chase after the girl??!!

she likes you.. and you did fall for her too right??!!

i dont think i wanna go out with you on the 20th.. i feel so wasted waitin for you,, and you wanna be attach to another girl and you expect me to be okay with it?!! true there are so many guys but youre the one that im attracted to,if you really want me to like forget you.. tell me the ways so that i wont be rember or remind me of you! the guy that i love most is.. haish..

just bear this in mind..

if youre alredy attach to other girl, i wont be entertain you anymore.. you ajak klua ke,. i tak akan nak ikot.. too many heart break ive been thru when im with you.. and even though im not with you i still get this heart break..i wanna thank you for doin this to me..

tahnks alot aite al faris fidaitullah bin abden bin jantan!

2011-08-05T04:25:00.000-07:00

its been 10 months now that ive been holdin and waitin for you.. surprisingly i told you.. and somehow it does shock me.. haha.. but you know right i always be waitin for you patiently till you said the word , only then i will stop and start a brand new life even though its difficult for me.. i still gotta move on.. cause you are the only one that get me, know me,feels me, hurts me..and youre are the only one thats close enough to drive me crazy...

i dont care how long it takes,i dont mind,im alright i sit here and wait

untill the sun comes down and rise up back again..

youre the best thing thats happen in my life..

i dont really wish for you to leave me..

2011-07-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

haish... nari satu hari pack barang barang sume.. pasal ape.. aku pindah lagy!!-.-

penat siol!! and its at the same area.. the address is ,, number 1 lengkong dua...

haish.. bosan uhh.. da mcm tk de perasaan lagyy tao.. hidop berpindah pindah..

tapy apekan daye,. nie sume ade kehendak MAK dan BAPAK!!! terpakse ikotkan..

esok tk tao plak nk gy skolah ke tak.. kalo ayah tk de orang nk tolong.. aku tolong ayah lorh..

haish.. pity dad actually.. with his status... yang tk berkeje..from long hair, he cut to GI.. stress betol aku tengok bapak aku nie..tapy tk pe. . selagy aku ade.. aku bleyh tolong.,, aku tolong ayah.. i can be rude and rebell to them... but if they talk nicely to me ,, i can open up to them.. but nahh..hhaha.. aku sentiase NAKAL!! kea da.. malas nk bobal psl nie topic.. kite jump to AL-FARIS FIDAITULLAH BIN ABDEN.. name panjang sia..hahaha..

so yeah.. dpt bobal nan die and guess how happy i was.. hahaha.. rindu tu rindu luhh jugak..

but at least dpt dgr suare die tu.. hmm.. okayy luhh kirekan.. but kalo jumpe kan best.. hahahha..!! after for a few days i didnt get to meet him,. and i gathered all my feelings and put it in a msg.. and yeah.. this is what i sent to him:

sometimes im absolutely certain i love you and always will, then i think of all those shit we did to each other and still wonder how i could love someone deeply after all that..

you make me confused but love is love even when it doesnt make sense, even when youre not here, even though you have found someone new and even though if the memories have begun fade. i know there was a time where i wasnt in this alone even if i dont remember it anymore...

i still care for you cause youre the best thing that i had in my life and ever happen to me, you made me explore to your world and shower me with lots of love, even when im standin at the edge of losin you,you help me go thru.. you took away my pain and all of my sorrows when im down.. theres nothing i can ask more from you, cause its you that i only need..

i miss those times that we once had,..but whenever i look back to those memories, i laugh and cried.. but that could only be on a once upon a time...

you know AL-F, it wasnt that easy to find some words just to make it look simple.. its kindda hard to find the words that i can make you understand how i felt.. but like i said.., even if you have found someone new.. i still care for you.. cause you are the best thing that is ever been mine <3..

i love you but i wish you could see it,, rather than i need to show you how deeply i love you and i miss you..

2011-07-20T05:39:00.000-07:00

alek skolah pyeh penat.. panas plak tu.. sampai umah je ade org carik mak aku.. aku kol uhh die. byeh die marah marah aku tak tao pape sia.. kene marah.. haish.. mengamok sia.. skali tngh uat bende yang die suroh.. dino kol.. sejok siket hati aku.. thanks al-faris..

hearing your voice make me cool down and miss you damn much!! smpi mimpi kao.. haiyo.. amacm ckp nie..

pagy pagy smpi skolah,, ais kol,, aku angkat ais letak,. aku kol alek ais angkat ais letak.. last die kol aku angkat.. sibeh sian.. dpt news burok sia.. yang die kene tangkap.. haish.. da tk de kwan nk kacao.. sodey sia... and sorry ia..i really dont know how to tell you..s o i just tell you what he said to me.. and ais.. take god care of yourself..

2011-07-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

today is the last day i saw him and yesterday was the last day i talked to him on the phone..

i dont know how im gonna be without you by myside for a month.. but somehow i still gotta be strong.. i just follow the flow.. skrg aku type nie pon air mate jatoh... it already kills me a lilttle in the inside..tk lame lagy da puase.. cant imagine... no text or calls from you.. nothing at all..gonna try to get use to it for this one month.. :'(

bhyy,,, all this time ive been missing you before you want us to be like this..

but i already did told you that no matter how deep i miss you... i wont tell you..

but sometime,, i wish you knew what and how i felt.. but its okayy..

i know youre busy with your work and youre motor thingy,,.. all this time.. i appreciate what you did for me.. but i cant imagine how this would be.. futher more its gonna be a month, only than we meet again..i miss you so much al-faris fidaitullah.. :(

2011-07-17T00:08:00.000-07:00

had a great time yesaterday.. hahha,,, but at the same time im tired.. hehee.. watch transformer at plaza sing.. and slack there till its time the movie starts.. reach home 11 plus.. and im still tired..

while i was outside.. al-f called.. hmm.. talked to him on the phone for a while.. and i cntinue enjoyin my day.. hahah.. wanna put all those stuff aside..as im still recovering,, and after all chocolate melt make my day.. hahah.. all i need is chocolate just to make me happy.. hahhaha...

2011-07-13T05:17:00.000-07:00

so you make your decision.. and you made me promise you.. and yeah, im gonna keep it..

just remember this in mind that youre not gonna leave me neither do i...

you wanna enjoy,, yeah... sure.. i let you enjoy.. do whatever you want..

and thats goes the same thing for me too right?? haha!

kao tanye aku, kalo kao da habis ns kalo kao nak carik aku, tu pandai pandai kao.. aku tkkn bilang kao mcm ane care die sume.. kalo kao betol sygkan aku.. aku tkkn lupekan kao.. tpy kalo kao betol tak sayngkan aku.. i will erase those memories that i had with you and keep the sweet ones..

kao senyom, text sume.. aku takkan layan.. kao ajak aku kua pon.. aku tkkan kua nan kao..

walaopon mcm ane aku rindu kat kao... since you said that theres only 2 person knows how you felt..well.. same goes to me..

kao tao aku tk bleyh nk bohong kao..and kao tao aku betol betol sygkan kao.. so i do what ever it takes just to be with you.. aku takot hilang kao.. tapy kalo kao nk tngk mate aku bengkak nie sume..bilang kea.. so that aku tkkn kacao hidop kao..

knape mesti nk kne jady mcm nie?? tiap kali kao tnye soalan like both of us are just bestfren kan.. you saw how i react.. tiap kali kao tnye mcm tu.. kao suke kan satu pompan..

we did break our promises,., but this time.. if i can hold on.. i will hold on.. but i cant take any of these pain.. i will let it go, mcm ane aku sayngkan kao pon..

fark uhh!! why does it gotta be this farkin wayy?!?!?!! whyy?!?!?!!?

damn farkin sad!!!

2011-07-04T04:54:00.001-07:00

well..its monday already and i really need money within 1 day... where the hell am i gonna get that amount while im not workin.. like shit kan..?!!!

but not to make me more stress i plan to go out with him within this week.. but unfortunately he works... how sad.. well.. theres always some other day.. and he did told me that if he can make it he will tell me.. so yeah.. just gonna wait for his ans.. thats one thing..

the other things is that..FACEBOOK IS A TOTALLY SUCKS!!! dont know whats wrong with it till i cant log in and need to wait for few hours thn i can log in again... like what the hell.. and the only one who knows my password is only him.. and im sorry if you think im accusin you.. well,, im not... i was just curios.. its only just a dumb facebook..nothin can compare to you in any other way..

so yeah.. im sorry aite d..

2011-06-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

i is so the happy.. whyy?? cause nari i dpt jumpe my sayang!! whee~
first thing go bedok take letters and sorry abg wan.. i dunno got your school letter..
and then off to tamp meet baby dino..
since yesterday tk dpt jumpe die..hehhe.. so we slacked till 6 plus.. and i forgot that i need to be home bfre 7.. but overall my day is awsome with love by myside...

so happy to meet him..hehee...
hmm maybe next week gonna go out with him.. where to..?? hmm.. not sure yet..
but i know first thing im gonna catch transformers 3 with him!!

to you baby
yes i promise you that im not gonna leave you as my heart is only for you...
k luhh.. nk tito...
nytes~

2011-06-28T00:51:00.000-07:00

supposed to meet him today.. but then.. haish.. im sorry bhyy i cant meet you today.. tomorrow youre not free.. i missed you damn much.. well.. maybe next week we still can meet.. its been so long that we didnt meet.. and aku pyeh bodoh.. aku tk bilang aya..stupid tao cha kadang..

haish... i miss him till i dream of hi.. like so badly.. :(

i miss you boo.. and i still shed some tears every once in a while.. i cant let you go..and now i need you to know.. even though its diffrent youre still here some how.. my heart cant let you go...

its cause.. i love you so freakin much..

2011-06-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

i shuldn't have walked away

i would've stayed if you said

we could've have made everything okay but we just

threw the blame back and forth

we treated love like a sport

the final blow hit so low

im still on the ground

i couldn't prepared myself for this fall

shettered in pieces curled on the floor

super natural love conquers all

'member we used to touch the sky

and lightnin won't strike the same place twice

when you and i say goodbye i felt the angels cry

true love's a gift but we let it drift

in a storm everynight i feel the angels cry

c'mon babe can't our love be revived

bring it back and we gonna make it right

im on the edge tryin to survive

as the angels cry

i thought we'd be forever and always

you were serenity you took away all the bad days

didnt treat you right but it was ok

i do somethin stupid and you still stay with me

but you can only go for so long

doin the one you claim to love wrong before too much is enough

you look up and find your love gone and we were so good together

how come we could not weather this storm and just be better

but why do we have to say goodbye

baby im missin you dont allow our love to lose

we gotta ride it through im reachin for you

Je t'aime: You’re the only person that ever made me feel anything, really feel....

2011-06-14T01:02:00.000-07:00

You’re the only person that ever made me feel anything, really feel. Even if it wasn’t always the best feelings, you’re the only one who could make me smile or tear me down in three seconds flat. You’re the only person that can drive me crazy, in both good and bad ways. You’re the only person...

2011-06-10T05:02:00.000-07:00

had a great fun with love even its jaut a short day with him.. but its still fun and at the same time im sad.. cause i wanna spend time with him befre he left singapore as he will be goin to tanjong pinang for fishing with his uncle.. hmmm....

so for that day we watched hang over 2.. its damn awsome.. haha! plus he lose to me.. hahah!!1

im so gonna miss ya love...

take of yourself and have fun aite..

2011-06-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

finally exam is over and holiday is comin.. wohoo...!! but sadly on the 10 i need to go to united square for trainin.. and somehow im lazy... but i need money to pay off my stupid wrong doing!!!

pfft!! and who is so not that lazy can accompany me and wait for me.. hahah!!

tomorrow gonna meet my one and only sayang!!! al-faris fidaitullah!!!

cant wait!!! but then on friday he's gonna be out from singapore go to tanjong pinang fishing with his uncle.. and hopefully he pass his prac 6 which is today and as for me hopefully i pass my first semester exam..amin...

to ia: i miss you so much!!! bile bleyh jumpe nie..

cha rindu sngt...!

2011-06-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

its been so long that i didnt update my blog.. hahha...well nothin much happen..
im happy now as im closer to him now.. and the other time he did made me cry and he cheered me up at the same time.. hahaha... exams is tomorrow and on wednesday... hais...

ouhh yeah.., that time lan came to school.. haha.. and i didnt believe it till i hugged him.. hahaha...
its been so long we didnt meet and when he called me i was like isit true?? hahha.. had a great time with him... lan next time come school again so that i could skip class.. hahaha...!!! miss him.. hehehe...
and to you al-faris fidaitullah, ill be meetin you on thurs as we're supposed to go out on sat but we didnt and i understand that youre tired, so yeah,,.

2011-05-30T00:19:00.000-07:00

bile da dpt keje aya tak kasi keje.. mcm beyloh sia.. its better already.. then now thngh carik keje baru.. jadi promoter...kat tomtom.. and i dont know anymore.. gy skolah muke slumber habis.. thn nmpk baby walk with his frens..skali die nmpk die tegoh.. tell him... but.. haish... i got one more bloody thing need to be solved first... haish.. stress aku... parents da tk tao... and now im facin it.. mcm soyal uhh...

alek nnti die amek..whee... even though its gonna be awhile.. im still happy as i get to spend some time with him..

2011-05-25T06:22:00.000-07:00

too sick to go with the flow..
flu come and go..temperature up and down.. haish... ive sick for few days..
exams are comin..boo hoo... :(

me and him are close and im happy for him like at last he is done with his prac 5..
did my test just now.. and guess what.. i didnt check the paper thru.. and i didnt do 1 question..
mintak alek cikgu tak nak kasi.. actually die nk kasi alek bey tukar fikiran.. baek uhh..

and im sorry mr desmond if i dissapoint you.. cause i know youre puttin hopes on me.. can see that.. as i didnt pay attention in your class but at least i know what and how to do.. hahha! thanks for makin me like my studies again.. :)

and to you mum.. im sorry if im pissed you off just now.. as im not in a good mood...
didnt get enough and good sleep this few days.. you saw me studyin till late night and sleep in the morning for few hours... and till i fall sick.. sorry aite mum..

2011-05-17T01:41:00.000-07:00

when things are fine some things came up...haish...

i know all my probs i share with her..shes the one who listen to all my sorrows and gave me the courage to move on with life when he hurt me real bad..

but now..

theres always some thing that he wanna brought up back.. but its fine to me..

and to you bhyy... im truly sorry.. i dont mean to..

but at that time i told her that when i wasnt myself..cause the feelings is mixed up..

im sorry boo...

2011-05-07T20:08:00.001-07:00

First of all I wanna wish keai happy 18th birthday..hope your wish come true and have a blast..

Secondly I'm so happy and look forward to next saturday as he asked me out..

Thirdly wanna wish all mum out there HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
And to my mum love ya even though I can be pain in the ass..